When do you fight & when do you not?
How do you know when something is worth fighting for? That the thing you think you want, is battle-worthy? Worth the risk of possibly ending up bruised and broken?
How do you know whether to take a fighter’s stance and do battle or take the gloves off and walk away cloaked in self-preservation and safety?
Someone recently told me, “Anything worth having is worth fighting for,” and I agree. Some things in life are worth fighting for, worth risking your finances … your career, your reputation, even your heart. And some things are better left alone and untouched. The status quo is a very comfy sofa, after all.
Making difficult choices requires using discernment, and then displaying courage and resolve to stick with your decision. And I’m finding I’m not very good at any of these things when it comes to me. I’m great at helping others with their mega-decisions, but I’m a total wimp when it comes to making difficult decisions for my own life. I get bogged down in the “what if’s?”
Is that normal? Am I the only one with this problem? Is it a “female” thing, or just a “me” thing?
Some of my friends seem to make all the right choices. They know what they want, they make a decision, then lean into the wind and make it happen. And they always come out on top. Or seem to, anyway.
I have friends who tell me that I appear that way. They think I seem to make all the right choices and have a downright peachy life. And maybe I do appear that way to most who are at arm’s length. But if you are close enough to share my air, you most likely know differently. Not everything is always as it seems, after all.
I have a friend who is struggling right now with a choice that could be potentially life-changing. She stands at the proverbial fork in the road, glancing both ways, wondering which is the best direction to take. The right choice could bring her absolute contentment, success, and the elusive peace we all seek. The wrong road, on the other hand, may bring her right back to where she started, a lot wiser, if a bit worse for the wear. Still, maybe taking a step in any direction is better than standing there doing nothing while the grass grows around your feet. Right?
If you are in the difficult position of determining whether to do battle for something, consider yourself in good company. Many have been where you are now. You are in the company of kings and commanders. And your battle may be but a wee skirmish in comparison, but that doesn’t make it any less important.
You may not be feeling the fear that Moses felt as he guided thousands of helpless souls through the parted sea. (Talk about a decision that required commitment.)
You may not shoulder the same responsibility that General Lee had as he recklessly led 12,000 troops through an open field, many to their slaughter, in Gettysburg.
Your burdens may not be that big.
But they are no less significant.
Lives and freedoms may not hang in the balance of your decision, but that doesn’t mean you have any less to lose.
I am not sure what my friend’s final decision will be, but I do know this - once she decides, there will be no looking back.
Except if she changes her mind. She’s a woman, after all.